I'm young - a double edged sword, that gives me hope and causes tremendous pain. The family system of the culture I draw my roots from ensures that my family controls every aspect of my life, to the point of who I can call friends, where 'acceptable' places to go are, and what socially 'acceptable' behavior is, for a young *ugh* man like me.
Sometimes, my age gives me hope. I'm young, and still delicate looking for most part, and I believe that hormones can still work wonders on my body. I don't have many masculine traits, apart from nagging facial and body hair and the extras between my legs. I know that if I start transitioning soon, I can be a (mostly) natural shemale beauty.
But my age also drives me crazy. If I cannot transition soon, and if I'm forced to act out the charade of being a male for the rest of my life, I know that I will not be able to keep at it for that long. The easy way out looks very tempting at times. I've contemplated several ways of doing it easily - and a drug OD looks most appealing. Being freed from a painful life, feeling a once-in-a-lifetime high, while your candle goes out. Or feeling nothing at all, which is also ok. I've never done drugs, so I hope what I've read is true. I'd hate to fail at even that, and live somehow, after I decided to end it.I would trade with the devil, submit to a life of sexual slavery, anything! I would truly do ANYTHING to be able to stop living as a male, and start a new life, as a transsexual.
Is there nobody who would want a slave? Kidnap me and feminize me, and own me. Whore me out, be my manager. Make porn films of me. Degrade me however you want. Sell me to another when you grow jaded. All I ask is give me a new life, one as a shemale.
